Tuesday, August 16, 2005

This is one way to handle the "Seamands" problem...

A ministry wife wrote about the "Seamands" problem:

Do you know what I did last night to my own dear husband? I told him the news, then grabbed his rough face in my hands, looked him straight in the eyes, and said, “Don’t EVER do that to me.” I didn’t let his gaze go…no wiggle room. He assured me he wouldn’t. I waited a minute, grabbed it again, and said, “Don’t even THINK of doing this to me.” He agreed, and we went on to talk about it in our usual open manner.

I recognize as probably true the concept that Satan wishes to corrupt our ministers and leaders more than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean that godly men and women need to end up pathetic statistics. My husband and I make it a daily habit to spend time in prayer together, to talk about his counseling policies (no women alone), to hold each other accountable for our thoughts and actions. I make it a regular practice to make sure that I am the only woman in his heart and mind. I ask him about his secretaries, his counselees. He KNOWS I am going to ask, and he knows that I know him well enough to know if his spiritual life is drooping or if something isn’t right. Trust is essential to a marriage, but stupidity and blindness simply allow one to be easily deceived. Perhaps our seminaries need to more aggressively talk about this with our pastoral students…with a special session for spouses. (I’d love to teach THAT one!)

Well, she is on to it. And for whatever it is worth, I'd like to have her "teach THAT one" too!


At 3:28 PM, Blogger Jonathan Beck said...

Dr. Friedman,

In light of Dr. David Seamands' death, I ran across your publication you wrote regarding the scandal that took place in Wilmore recently. Yes, by and large, I agree with you. To his credit, though, Dr. Seamands responded to the discipline of the church, and repented to God and his congregation. Even though the situation is tragic, I ask you, is there no room for grace in this situation? It seems to me like there should be.

I would like to think otherwise, but I think Dr. Seamands will be remembered for this sin in his twighlight years. I would hate for all the good he did for the world to be overlooked, though. He was a good man who sinned against God and repented. To me, that takes just as much virtue as someone who hasn't sinned in the first place.

Thanks for reading,

Jonathan Beck
Asbury College class of '07
Bible/Theology major


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