Christmas greetings to my friends!

(Funny stuff a buddy just sent me...internet humor and who knows where it came from...)

For my Democrat Friends

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all! I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

For my Republican Friends

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Prophesying "in pirate"

I find this stuff. You decide.

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Sam Brobst took a "Learning Your Spiritual Gift" course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.

"We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, 'Yar! Hear the word of the Lord — the Lord of the mighty seas!'" says one witness. "It was straight out of a Disneyland ride."

Brobst says he can't help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, "Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap'n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein' your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin' in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin' to pour down plenty o' booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap'n."

The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.

HT: Locusts and Honey

Reformed gangsta rap

Arminians and Jay-Dub take the hits during this thing.

"No actual Arminians were harmed during this slideshow." Yeah? So what is with the blood on the ground there?

HT: Locusts and Honey

And the most recent entry in our "Gimmick Evangelism" contest...

Alas, this apparently is no joke:

The image of Jesus in the froth left on the sides of an almost empty pint glass next to the words 'Where will you find him?' will spearhead the Churches' Advertising Network (CAN) festive campaign to encourage church-going this Christmas.

And who will be the first to say, "Yeah, but if it saves just one person then it will all be worth it..."?

Spare us.

Students - how NOT to evangelize. Got it?

Outside of persistence try to forget this...

Best video ever? Or...why the holiness movement doesn't believe in dancing! Or contemporary music!!

Yikes! Jonah Goldberg over at the Corner is suggesting this for his Best Video Ever contest. Double yikes!

Trinity-sizing your menu?

Appears so, for NTS student Karl Jett...